“I met some Peruvian shamans once. After making the room pitch-dark, they took out some huge rock crystals that started to glow when placed side by side. It seemed incredible to me that some minerals could come to life when they were close to each other. “These words are not mine, it’s an experience that I’ve been told and that has always fascinated me.
The weeks before Christmas were quite difficult for me, I had experienced very deep internal and external changes and I had often struggled to maintain my balance and sanity. During the Christmas holiday I therefore felt quite confused, insecure and even sad sometimes.
Nevertheless, one day on my way back from lunch with a dear friend, someone told me “You two were very beautiful, happy, even if the weather was grey and rainy, you were glowing!” I was stunned by this image because, since I was so deeply lost in my worries, I was not aware of the well-being caused by the closeness of the people we love. In my opinion we often underestimate the peace of mind that we enjoy when we are surrounded by our friends and family.
As a therapist I have to highlight that true happiness does not depend on any external factor, it is to be found in each one of us: we are the alpha and the omega, the masters of our own destiny and the source of our strength and inner peace. If we pass this responsibility to an external factor, our self-confidence will crumble like a house of cards at the first puff of wind.
This concept, however, shouldn’t make us lose sight of the importance of being surrounded by the people we love. Although they are not responsible for our happiness, their feelings for us can make us shine like those crystals.
We should keep in mind that, in this case, the responsibility still lies with us: as a matter of fact, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If we are not aware of warm feelings of those around us it won’t matter if we have many friends, a great family or wonderful colleagues. If we do not train ourselves to value the people in our lives we will end up feeling lonely, dry and empty.
I believe that keeping our attention on other people’s flaws leads us to lose sight of what is really important in life. Those are just some features of our personality, they do not define what we feel for each other. The secret is to stay focused on our heart and let go of unnecessary details. If we focus on love, everything else disappears, only love remains. And love can heal us, fill us, clean us and make us shine like crystals in the dark.
Cover picture by Fabrice Van Opdenbosch