Since I started working as a Reiki therapist I noticed that the number of women who lost a child during pregnancy is incredibly high. Most of the abortions or miscarriages that I am aware of happened during the first weeks of pregnancy and, in all cases, the fact was quickly left behind, hidden by a wall of silence or forgotten thanks to another pregnancy that was fortunately carried to term.
This reaction does not surprise me at all, people normally try to forget painful experiences as soon as possible. However, that kind of wound is so deep that, if we do not deal with it sooner or later, it will be kept in our soul and influence, subconsciously, all aspects of our life.
During the Reiki sessions with people who have lost a baby, I realized that, no matter the reason why they came to therapy (stress, migraine or insomnia) my first impression is the presence of a small being who wants to be acknowledged. The effort made to forget what happened, did nothing but turn their grief chronic. It just lingered there and lived with them every day until they were brave enough as to look at it, acknowledge it, mourn it and let it go. The children who were never born are actually the ones who come to the aid of their own parents during the Reiki sessions: they want to be heard, cried and loved. There is often no need to mention that soul, the client herself normally confirms the sensation of having felt it close to her.
When I understood the importance of facing the grief I started using Thetahealing: through a deep meditation I helped them to visualize the child, to feel it and hold it at least once. The reaction to the experience is like opening a dike. All the love, pain and joy of being able to feel it are suddenly released by the client, beginning an unprecedented emotional healing process.
Women are normally the ones who look for answers in therapy: in addition to an emotional distress, they go through an unpleasant physical experience. It is very important to remind, however, that we should never ignore the effects that an abortion or miscarriage have on men. Despite the fact that very few men dare to speak about it, this experience is absolutely devastating for them too.
In one case I treated, both parents participated to the Thetahealing session. One of the effects of the termination of pregnancy was the end of their affair, but there they were, years after their breakup, to face that old wound that got so deep through the years that was now impossible to ignore. Feeling as a family just once, even for a few moments, and discovering the grief of the other gave them comfort, allowing them to rebuild a relationship that the trauma had shattered. The guilt that had been haunting them for years was wiped clean, leaving room for a new level of consciousness that allowed them to forgive themselves and each other. Months after the session they told me that they still feel the presence of that soul daily and after reconsidering that experience they were able to give themselves another try as a couple. I love these little therapy miracles!
Cover picture by Fabrice Van Opdenbosc