The other day on my daughter’s desk I found a letter she had written for a friend. The envelope was not sealed and, yes, I confess, I read it. I didn’t care about her privacy and read it. If I didn’t have a look at her things from time to time I wouldn’t have a clue about who my flatmate is. She grows up and changes so fast that, if I didn’t do that, she would be a total stranger to me…
Thank goodness I did! Because her letter is an example of perfect harmony, that shows us how to love, drawing a perfect circle: premise, development and conclusion.
The text begins with: “Dear…. Sometimes you get rightly angry and sometimes you get upset over silly things, but, despite that, you always make me happy.” How many of us are able to understand that the other person can be wrong sometimes and, at the same time, keep in mind that they are very important to our own happiness? How many of us are aware of the joy the other person makes us feel, despite their small (or big) mistakes?
The second paragraph is full of words of wisdom: “Do not change because I love you just the way you are, not as other people describe you.” Being able to see the real soul of other people and to accept them is the secret of eternal happiness. When we do not create false expectations, when we do not fall in love with an image that we made up of how we would like the other person to be. When we look at the others with innocent eyes, no ego involved, when we accept the other person unconditionally: that’s when we create strong relationships that will not collapse at the first sign of weakness or disagreement.
The circle closes like this: “I will always be by your side, wherever you are, in good or bad times because I love you”. This is the cornerstone of life. If each and everyone of us understood that point and took it in, all arguments, wars, murders and evil in general would come to an end. Have you done something good? Perfect! Have you done something wrong? It doesn’t matter! I love you and, even if I do not agree with you, I’m here. It is a very deep concept, which is based on unconditional love, the one that we are normally able to feel only for our children (the ones we would forgive anything).
In this regard, the other day we were reading Isabel Allende’s book The Infinite plan in which a character stated: “We must read a lot, knowledge and wisdom will defeat evil on earth”. Martina and I looked into each other’s eyes and said “knowledge, wisdom and love” at the same time. I feel relieved now because I know that the soil has been properly enriched, it will bear fruit.
Cover drawing by Martina